Monday, November 19, 2012


This morning I asked you
to take my heart back.

I find I
slip     it
      into the
pockets of my jeans,
corners of my wallet,

but I don't want it,

It's so ugly when I keep it for myself.

i asked you for a white horse moment,
for your ax to hack away
at these thickening

and cut me

make me free
of all these weeds

all        this          



This morning I asked you
to take me down,
to fight me 'til I'm
only yours again.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

My Story

My art journal is, at long last, mostly finished. I kept thinking I might add a bit to it, and still ponder the thought, but it seems that next chapter hasn't happened yet.

This Art Journal is basically my life story; where I've been, what I've discovered, how I've changed, where I'm going. Hope you enjoy!

This first page is pretty dark and sad, I know...but so was my life at this time! The passage on the right is from Ro 1:28
"Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

I couldn't find a good photo for my sentiments here so I thought I'd sketch one. Just a quick pencil sketch with marker outline and some pastel (not properly blended I know because the paper I used wouldn't give).
 Text here is Psalm 107:14 "He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart."

I was super happy with this page. I'm a messy art journaler and like an older, vintage style look vs. nice clean scrapbooky type lines. I originally had a photo of an eye from a magazine pasted on the left side but in my artistic frenzy I dribbled paint all over and had to make my own. A major accomplishment for me since I don't do realistic painting AT ALL. So there it is, my first painted eye...not bad for a beginner although I have a much greater appreciation for peoples ability to mix and deliver proper skin tone in portraits now that I've tried it myself. Wow, that's tough. Also, I still dribbled a little white paint where I didn't want it. I'll learn more precision someday.

Lots of experimentation here. I really liked the texture of a few of the papers, tried some bubble wrap painting (soooo fun!), and my first try with glitter gel...still not sure what I think of that because it takes FOREVER to dry. I suppose you could blow dry it like some art journalers do but I'm just not that into it.

I could NOT believe I found this awesome quote in a magazine. Matched so many Isaiah thoughts I've had. I had to play around with how I wanted to break up the statue (the way I really wanted to wouldn't fit on my page) thus the extra tears in the photos, but, like I said. I'm messy and I think that adds to it:)

This was my favorite photo, by far, but I realize I totally destroyed it. I will use Modge Podge and a credit card to smooth out a big photo like this next time. This is the first time that messy-lazy art didn't work out in my favor:( It's hard to see here but the bottom scrap spirals and stands off the page. I tried several things to get it to this point but some little crumpled paper and drip glue underneath certain parts did the trick.

 They are supposed to kind of go/flow together. The scrap scribbles are Je 18:11 "..but the vessel was He remade it into another vessel as it pleased the potter to make" This page is really supposed to show the pain of being reshaped and smashed. Like the Oscar Wilde quote ''How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?''

 Ooops, I almost forgot this one! Lyrics are Ginny Owens "You Call Me Beautiful"(I think that's the title)

Last page...kind of a 'where I'm going' page (especially pertains to children).

I Still don't have my cover for this art journal and I'm not sure I need one. The strange 70's cartoon on the front is kinda cool actually;) 

To HEAR my story as spoken to a congregation of about 150 (?) you can copy and paste this link:

It's really hard to hear so you'll need a very quiet room, decent speakers and about 25 to 30 minutes time.


love settles
and Down
curling up

by a glowing fire

Chasing has a certain thrill
but security

so I will light the grateful spark
behind my eyes,
inside my heart,
at the predictably
of You

always    coming      home

to Me

Friday, November 16, 2012


scrape together justice with razor blade and mirror
freedom places handcuffs on your mother, sister, friend

he's got ideas
she's got ideas
and shaming's s'posed to lead to tolerence

       would be nice,
oxygen in every crevice
      would be nice
oxygen in every tongueless mouth

but one tube's 
shy to feed us all
when a hundred pet causes
are standing on it

put explosives in your windows
 so they learn to be doors

annihilate your doors
 until they're open to the world

until you can see beyond
your own

and overestimated ways

Saturday, November 10, 2012

in late hours
with her
red dress
up jealousy
from those that saw her

she would return
even while together
with him

she would awaken
with questions
in her heart
about what would be said
of her now

10 Things You May Not Know About Your 'Christian' Neighbor

Stereotyping groups is always crappy, and you especially feel it when you are one of the group being stereotyped. I grew up being stereotyped as a hub-cap stealing, ganja smoking, ignorant, illegal immigrant because of my Hispanic ethnicity, and that was only a little bit painful. As a 'Christian' I have now experienced a few more stereotypes that actually hurt even worse and I'd love to address them briefly by stating a few truths about myself and at least a few others who are brave enough to call themselves 'Christ followers' in a world that despises such people:

1. We don't all judge you. Some of us are a lot more concerned about all the crap that we don't have figured out yet and are quite preoccupied with taking care of that.

2. We don't all think that homosexuals are going to hell. While some of us still believe that same-sex behavior is not pleasing to God based on the Scriptures that define our morality, we also realize that a LOT of what we do is not pleasing to God (adultery, premarital sex, drunkenness, gossiping, etc) and we actually don't think we are any better or more deserving of heaven than anybody else. We recognize that we will all struggle with sin continually and that all of us needs forgiveness and grace. 

3.We are not all Republicans. Some of us care a lot about environmental, educational and social issues and are often torn between the two parties or even, gasp (!) vote Democratic. Some of us have even dared face the fact that Jesus wasn't a Republican or Democrat, too.

4. Most of us realize that the church is a mess. Of course it is! It's made up of flawed people from a hundred different backgrounds and perspectives and they are all trying to somehow help other people. We know that church leaders and members mess up all the time and the only thing we claim as perfect is God Himself.

5. We are not all ignorant. There are actually some really great minds in the church. I look at people like Isaac Newton, Galileo, and Copernicus who had an appreciation for the Divine. Piper, Strobel, Lennox and Ravi Zacharias are a few modern day scholars on that level who, although incredibly intelligent, still believe in God. So it is actually possible that some of us have used our brains to think things through and have still arrived at our unpopular conclusions about Christ.

6. We were not all raised in "Christian" families. Many of us come from backgrounds of drug addiction, sexual immorality, abuse, or atheism. Some of us have questioned and rejected the same philosophies as non-Christians and still come out on the believing end.

7. Not everyone who calls themselves "Christian" actually knows much about the bible or is even trying to follow Christ. Some people call themselves "Christian" because their parents are "Christian" or it makes them feel like a good person, and those people really aren't sure what they believe. So when they say or do something that offends you...don't assume that all "Christians" believe or feel the way that they do.

8. Some of us actually wish you would be friends with us because we like playing the same board game or listening to the same music. We aren't always trying to 'evangelize' rather than appreciate you but we sure love talking about what matters to us when we get the chance...probably just like you do.

9. Some of us feel equally horrified by the atrocities of the church over the centuries, from the holy wars and Andrea Yates, to the very existence of the Westboro Baptist Hate Group, etc. We have incredible faith that whatever 'god' these people are supposedly following is definitely not Jesus.

10. Not all of us listen to Christian radio and walk around saying "God bless you" and "hallelujah". Just sayin...