Peanuts

this time
when I hugged you good-bye
I wondered as I never had before

about Final moments

Over avacodos
I laughed
at the showing off
of a jalapeno seed,
but
elsewhere
      ached
about
a Number
of days

wonder
wonder
wonder
about how many moments
left for you

to wrestle another salmon
down the bank
with felt soles and
full waders.

You spoke to the veterans
at the hotel breakfast
of a sea horse ship
buckled and bucking,
and had to wince at that briny plate.
I wanted to take it away,
keep you
an extra day.

In afternoon
the sea foam
and wet trails
pleaded my case,
that you not stay
so far away,

beggared rushes
flowing desperate
to persuade you
to love it here
with me, Sam I Am.
Hurts too much,
when you get on the plane,

especially
now
that silver sideburns
have introduced
this
smarting question

of minutes
even seconds

before padlocks clench
in ways that
I can't argue with.

Let's no more talk about our family tree.
I'll sip my coffee and coconut
and
let your
Earl Grey wisdom

infuse

the scalding waters
of
my yearning heart.

I'll never be ready to lose you.

thick

Today, you're
cottony blue, unpressed without me, sleeve
wrinkled sweetly my nose
and  reminded me

Of
          
heavy walks with young feet
           in sand dunes deep, and
           how the girls chased you.

Of

how,
           Thankfully,
           it's my silver glitter
           clinging to your whiskered cheek.

We were early daisies then,
ablaze but delicate,
thirsty for tenderness and Sun,

and This afternoon,
when you lift my blossom head,
to inhale the fragrance of us,

those nectarous memory sprinkles
           excite
small fireflies, living ever inside,
Made only stronger by the tides
we've climbed above
since then.

splinters survive

not that I wanted to
but many rotations
brought me to the
peek-a-boo places
where i saw wisps of your brown hair
on a barrista at the Coco Moon,
and the etching of your jaw
bounce by the window
on the face of
a back-pack man.

I want

to drink my coffee peacefully,
without
this

infant              ache
curled around my shoulders,
without
this
scraping hollow
gash within my chest.

the moon knows you somewhere,
and I need not think such thoughts,
but you just keep
walking out in front
of what I should have
left
behind,

pressing past
that cursed rear view
mirror,
ever weak
to keep and capture

something
such as you.